As I sit here watching the blue bar of my avid leisurely stroll across my screen my eyelids sink lower and lower. I am currently on my second shift. Now being a week in to my 3 week adventure of working doubles to pay my bills down even quicker, I question the worth of my sanity. As it adds up there isn’t much of it left. I find my self on auto pilot through most of my day. Wake up, shower, get dressed, feed cats, and drive to work. It’s all a blur but somewhere in the back of my mind I know I did put thought into it. Due to the fact my cloths match and I make it down Santa Monica blvd in one piece. I wonder how much longer I can go with the lack of sleep I’ve been running on. I guess only time will tell. As I reassure my self in the end when I receive the paycheck it will all be worth it. So in that train of thought I answer my own question. Sanity = 3 weeks pay.

I’m trapped in my head! I can’t get out. All I can think about are the worst kinds of things. Someone make this stop! Please I beg you. God I miss her!

So I know this girl and she is an amazing person! She has a smile that could light up a room. She’s sweet, caring, funny, smart and the list goes on and on. These might sound like generic descriptions one would use just to woo or make one feel better. But there not. These are real descriptions. I just don’t have a very extensive vocabulary. Since the day I met her I was like wow that’s someone I wanna have in my life. Now that I do I’m very grateful and would do what ever I could to make her happy. So I hope this one girl keeps smiling and remembers when ever she needs anything I’m here! Always!

I just don’t know. I’m up I’m down or just here. I feel like I’m in neutral. I guess that’s better then reverse. Where all my friends are moving forward I’m just idling. I need a change and I need it soon or I might just lose it. I hate this feeling. Maybe sleep will help this but not tonight. Tonight I’ll be up working and thinking. Blerg.

I agree with most of these so that’s why I’m posting it.

Well it’s finally September! That means pilots galore and my favorite shows are back!! Also the Emmys baby! Where people look forward to the oscars I look forward to TVs biggest night. Can’t wait for new shows and characters to fall in love with. Who needs a significant other when you have cable! Wow I’m pathetic…. But YAY TV!!

Can you call it insomnia when you stay up so you can work 20+ hours a day? Probably not. I think they just call it crazy. But with this I can pay off my debt faster and build new bridges with other companies. Hoping it leads to better opportunities. But with all this brings me to one thought. I can’t wait to be 30. I calculated that good things will happen when I’m 30. So here’s to high hopes. Or at least cheers to my delerium.